Monday, January 30, 2012

Wednesday Flashback

I know it's Monday. I'm going to tell you about last Wednesday, though, as Wednesdays have proven to be somewhat challenging for me lately.

Last Wednesday was the first day of a new morning yoga class that I'm teaching. Unexpectedly, it coincided with my first yoga teaching anxiety dream: a yoga twist on the classic "sleeping through class" dream. And, I woke up at 4 a.m. on the dot, even though I didn't need to wake up for another two hours. 

The yoga class went well, but the lack of sleep and my wretched nutrition planning for the rest of the day led to actual bonking during winter maintenance running that evening. It was even a slightly easier workout this week. Last week, I merely came close to bonking and possibly crying. This week, I actually bonked but didn't cry. I'm not sure what's better. 

Scratch that. I know which is better: 


Not bonking is always better than bonking. Period.

About one mile into Wednesday night's intervals, my "on" segments were no longer distinguishable from the "recovery" segments. Uh oh. I rounded a corner on the gravel path on the National Mall, and I began to hear footsteps behind me. Like last week, after we settled out, I was in between the speedy gals and less speedy gals. Actually, being a group running noob, I hope I didn't unintentionally thumb my nose at some sort of group running etiquette by running, uhm, alone.

Once I realized that I was fading, I made it my mission to hold off the 4 women behind me for as long as possible. On the second to last turn, the last woman passed me. My body was done. It was all I could do to keep pace with them and hope that it would end soon. I wobbled my way through the remaining sets of core and arm strengthening drills, plyometrics, and (get this) more sprints.


Long before the last set of dips, pushups, crunches, and balance drills, I was planning my dinner: the Whole Foods food bar and whatever randomness it would offer.

Getting to Whole Foods was a minor miracle: I had to sprint to make the bus, and the sprint basically used up the paltry glycogen reserves that remained in my system. Once I got to Whole Foods and ate, I couldn't move from the dining alcove. So, I exchanged a series of texts with my pal Ben. The best parts look something like this:
Me: I wonder if a wheelbarrow can pick me up and roll me home...
Ben: That's a little overkill for someone your size.
Ben (4 minutes later): Should I send a car?
Me: It's nice and warm here. Isn't that what hypothermic people say right before they take off all their clothes and die?
Ben: Ha!
Me: I can't move. It's only two blocks home.
Ben: 2 blocks? You can do it! Just think couch, awaits!
Me: I am going to live Tweet my walk home. I'm composting my cardboard food box.
Ben:...
Me (3 minutes later): Stairs now.
Ben: Steady....
Me (7 minutes later): In building elevator!!
Ben: Snort...
Ben (2 minutes later): Hey, you forgot to grab me some ice cream and run it over here.
Me: Don't worry, I put it on the Circulator bus for you.
Me (45 minutes later, after watching an awesome ep of Law & Order SVU – Treat Williams played a former football star): I don't know if I can move to the shower.
Ben: Try to crawl. It'll be just like college.
Me: Dude, what college did you go to? [We went to the same college]
Me (5 minutes later): I don't think I'm cut out to be an endurance anything, except whiner.
Ben: Try winer. 
Me: I can't move from the couch. Too much inertia.
And that, my friends, was my Wednesday. I'm happy to report that I made it through the remainder of the night (and week and weekend).


I'm entered in a Facebook photo contest for a ski trip to snowy Whistler. Please help a mid-Atlantic girl out (I mean, come on, check out the conditions I'm skiing in!) and vote for my entry. You can a vote EVERY day until midnight, Mountain Time, February 1. Thanks!